Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize