If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
