What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
