A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
