I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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