I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i came on her dog
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
