I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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