My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
