piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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