Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
