So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
barbara walters just said penis...
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
She needs sedatives and a leash
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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