You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
