I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
