I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
