I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
