Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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