I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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