Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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