you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
