Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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