I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Randomize
