She said her name was "party"
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
