I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
