I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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