That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
