shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
