I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
