I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
