She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
