Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
