Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Semen is not good for contacts.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
