tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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