he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
This is my gift to your gina
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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