butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
