i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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