And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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