She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
