If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
He told me they were just razor bumps!
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
