ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize