Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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