I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
