My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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