I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
