dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
