I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
