her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Randomize
