i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Randomize
