Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize