i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
