that's an acceptable place to lick
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
