We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
