jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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