I need help removing her.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
