I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
