wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
