Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
