And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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