I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
