the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Dicks are not precious.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
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