Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
